10 characters you're likely to find on the gunbus
Variety is what makes life interesting; food, drink, weather, experiences, art, music – we'd soon get bored of any of these if we had to endure the same thing, over and over again, with no variation.
The same rings true for people; the myriad of personalities, quirks and mannerisms combine to make society intriguing. And in few places is this more apparent than in the fieldsports community.
Indeed the eclectic mix of characters that assemble to draw peg numbers on a shoot day morning offer an amusing example. Here are 10 types you're likely to encounter in the gunbus at shoots up and down the country...
There's almost always a comedian in the gunbus. They thrive on their captive audience in the gunbus for whom the relentless stream of jokes, hilarious anecdotes and banter make the day what it is. In fact, the entertainment is a well-known tonic for frustrating performances on the peg, bad weather, and selectively deaf gundogs.
The Silent Killer
Whilst pleasant enough, The Silent Killer isn't much of a conversationalist. This Gun is there to shoot, not make friends or engage in small talk about the weather forecast or the traffic on the morning commute. He's often fairly proficient, and has been known to loosen up a little after an elevenses snifter and once he's accounted for his fair share of skyscrapers.
The Know It All
From Trump to Champagne and ballistics to the beating line, The Know It All has an opinion on everything. He or she will contest pretty much every statement that anyone makes and always has to go one better – if you saw a stoat nail a rabbit during the last drive, he watched a panther stalk a badger. Humour him and give him some stick back – you'll never be short of contentious issues to discuss over lunch.
Mainly there for the sloe gin and game pie, a catch up with friends and a bit of networking, drives are the break in The Networker's day. He loves nothing more than a good chinwag with a stranger, learning of mutual contacts, and the sporting and business interests of his fellow Guns. Watch him swan through the whole team during the course of the day in a fashion only a well-heeled socialite can. Downfall: Has been known to empty drives on the way to his peg by being too loud!
The Nervous Newcomer
The Nervous Newcomer is the team member everyone is so very pleased to see. He or she will be welcomed with open arms and, as a result of inevitable nerves, often talk non-stop until pretty much everyone is familiar with the details of a) their upbringing b) the reason for their late introduction to the sport, and c) their performance on each drive. Embrace their company and help them wherever you can!
It doesn't matter whether he's pegged at No.1 or No.8, The Ditherer is always the last on the peg. A sense of urgency is something he just does not have; he always has to be prompted. If he's not 'nipping' back to the gunbus to fetch his ear defenders, or cartridge bag, or dog, he's been snared by The Networker en route to his peg, forgotten his peg number or is stood casually chatting to the gunbus driver as the host frantically tries to hurry everyone along without causing a scene.
Most noticeable on a smaller day where spreading the sport is the ultimate aim, The Magnet (often known as 'Golden B****cks') will enjoy a non-stop stream of sport on each and every drive, regardless of where he's pegged. Place him 'out of the shooting' on a day where peg numbers do not exist, and still the birds will pour over his head. Drawing a peg next to The Magnet is a gift.
The last person to unslip his gun – except, perhaps, The Ditherer – Corkscrew will have spent the first few minutes of each drive making sure the metal spiralled spike to which his dog is tethered could anchor a ship. His success in securing said anchorage usually becomes apparent shortly after the first birds of the drive tumble to the ground.
All The Gear
Whether it's the latest cartridge on the market, dodo-skin wellies, or a new shade of lens for his shooting glasses, All The Gear's sparkling vehicle will be neatly packed with sporting paraphernalia, both useful and useless. A drop in form will provoke any number of well-revised excuses, from experimental choke and load combinations, to new gloves or restrictive jackets. Many secondhand bargains can be had if you stay in favour.
The selfie master seems to spend more time with an arm outstretched, expertly framing photos of him or herself and fellow Guns, than actually shooting. Elevenses, lunch, even mid-drive, you can often see Smartphone panning his surroundings, recording footage or capturing images which, before the day's end, will be posted on Facebook and Instagram for all to see. Avoid this Gun at all costs if you're supposed to be elsewhere in the minds of your employer or spouse!
Don't miss the annual William Powell Sale
The William Powell showroom is located in Banbury, Oxfordshire, just off Junction 11 of the M40. Their friendly, expert team all share a passion for country clothing and pursuits and are on-hand to offer any assistance or advice you may require.
Almost everything featured in the William Powell catalogue or online shop is available to purchase from the showroom. They have one of the biggest ranges of country clothing and footwear brands in the UK, featuring many premium brands such as Schoffel, Musto, Barbour, Dubarry, Le Chameau, R. M. Williams and so many more.
DON’T MISS the annual William Powell Sale on Friday 10th and Saturday 11th February, 2017. You will be able to enjoy genuine, end of season reductions on quality, branded country clothing and footwear. You will find tweed shooting coats, breeks, technical coats, fleeces, gilets, wellingtons and so much more! This annual event is becoming increasingly popular and people look forward to it each year – everyone is welcome, and it’s free entry!
The sale will continue online from 6pm on Saturday 11th February, so be sure to visit www.williampowell.com to shop outstanding bargains on shooting and country clothing.